Running a Humane Society for Men
“Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”
When I lay out all of my non-familial male relationships, be it friends or otherwise, in a row, they all have an interesting trait. I get into relationships with men who are in a holding pattern, of sorts. Men who are in between relationships. Men who were wronged in their last relationship. Men who are not ready to start dating again. Those men tend to flock to me.
They flock to me because I am a safe haven – a calm place in their tumultuous romantic storm. I am basically running a humane society for men. I never put them down. I care for them. I give them the companionship and friendship they need until their forever person comes along. Sometimes those men get returned to me over and over again in life, and I always take them back in without question, keeping them safe and happy until their next forever person walks into their life.
In many cases, unless that man gets returned to me, I rarely hear from them. I don’t get updates. Our relationship ceases to exist when they go home with their forever person. Yet, I still take them back in again if they need me to. I have been doing it for years.
Why do I do it? In a way, it fills a need for me as well. I am not a person who wants to date, and I lack male companionship in my life. So, I understand the reason it happens. There are a few companions I’ve lodged over the years who I wanted to take home for myself, but they chose another forever person. It seems that those people return the most often, and yet, never want me.
If male/female friendships have to change because the person starts dating someone, then maybe there was more going on than just a friendship. It could be that one or both of the parties were using each other as a stand-in until the real thing came along. That is not okay. That type of relationship is toxic, and one party always gets hurt.
Despite that, I continue to run my humane society. I continue to let men drift in and out of my life, taking what they need from me until something “real” comes along. Maybe it is time to close my doors to them and start looking for something real myself.
Until tomorrow…
