Why am I Threatening?
“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty”
I am a big girl. I am a fat girl. I am a fat woman. It doesn’t really matter how you say it or slice it; I am. There is nothing in this world, no article of clothing, that I can put on and look like a size two. And, honestly, I’m okay with that. I wish I could more easily find clothing that fits, and I’d like to have a little more mobility and be a tad healthier, but beyond that —I’m happy with my life — all of it.
Now, my question is, why do people find that threatening? While I know that some people in my circle of family and close friends look at me with legitimate concern because they want me to stay around as long as possible, there are others who do not know me, but feel the need to give me advice… and some who feel downright threatened by my existence.
Is it because I’m unapologetic for being this weight? Is it because I am focused and accomplished? Is it because someone could be intelligent and accomplished and still be this weight? I think that might be part or all of it.
I don’t brag about myself often, but I’ve won awards, been published, and had a couple of jobs right out of college, one that I earned and two that I was offered. And now, I get to sit at home and write internet content. I get to sit at home, write, and get paid for it — which has basically always been my dream. So, yes, some people may be threatened by my accomplishments because when they look at me and see that I’m morbidly obese, they know that I break their stereotype, and that makes some people very nervous.
Stereotypically, as a fat woman, I should be less accomplished. I should be lazy. I should be weak-willed. Those who know me would laugh at those stereotypes. I don’t fit any of them. The best you can do is say that as a fat woman, I may eat too much fast food and not exercise enough. That’s about where my stereotypes end. I don’t like labels. I’m not a soup can. Don’t try to back me into a corner with your one idea of beautiful, with your one idea of accomplished. I’m likely to come blasting out of that corner with guns blazing and change your mind… and maybe the world.
A while back, a dear friend of mine made me realize that my focus had changed after college and after meeting my fiancé. So, now I’m beginning to refocus. I can do it all. I can be a writer, a wife, and a mother. There’s no reason I can’t. Women do it all the time, and many of those women are overweight or obese. So, I guess we’re all a little threatening.
I guess I could play on a little stereotype myself: I could assume that I am threatening to some people because they hate themselves. They are obsessed with everything they put in their mouths and their weight, and it is unnerving to see someone who is so overweight who doesn’t care as much as they do. That’s just a theory, though.
So, what do you think? Are overweight and obese women who are successful or unapologetic threatening or inspiring? Can you aspire to be like someone who may not have the best body (according to the U.S. Health Department)? Can we still be role models without being pied pipers of fat to children?
